RoyxKaldur: A Whole Lotta Emotions
by xTammyVx
Summary: Roy was used to being hurt, but he wasn't used to dealing with it. -Details at top of fic-
1. Hurt

**Pairings:**  
KaldurxRoy, dashes of RoyxCheshire.

**Summary:**  
Roy was used to being hurt, but he wasn't used to dealing with it.

**Rating**:  
T for language and references.

**Multi-chapter?**  
Yes.

**AN:**  
I am so in love with this ship. It's like firexice, but _sexy_!firex_sexy_!ice.

Don't be afraid to leave a comment! It gives me a little thrill when I see [New Review] in my emails :3

* * *

It wasn't unlike Red Arrow to be angry.

It definitely wasn't unlike Roy to storm off.

But somehow—be it the best friend initiative or the way he looked almost... _sad_ when he slunk into the shadows that night—Kaldur knew it was different this time. A new sort of rage. Not the normal sulk.

It'd only been a couple of months since he'd found out.

"A _clone_," he'd spat. "Not the real Roy Harper – just a knock-off."

Kaldur had tried to comfort him, but Roy was far too bent on bringing down whoever did this, whoever stole the true owner of his DNA. Hearing with a shadow over his face to each friend that insisted he was his _own_ person and yet not listening. Even the ones he'd never gotten along with had given him words of consolation and kindness, only to have them shrugged off.

And now Kaldur was striding towards the man's apartment, wincing as he heard items clattering in protest of all the movement. It wasn't too late to turn back though the thought didn't even occur. Kaldur was always loyal, the one area in his life in which stubbornness was present.

Two knocks on the door seemed to freeze all motion on the other side. Footsteps finally started and soon the door was open.

"Kaldur – the fuck're you doing here?" Roy grunted. All respect for anyone—himself included—had seemed to blur more and more in Roy's mind since the Justice League crisis.

The Atlantean froze. He'd seen Roy without a mask before, of course, but the ruggedness, the handsomeness he seemed to think nothing of before and _certainly_ thought nothing of now—_"They were all just parts of the __**real**__ Roy Harper." _—never ceased to render Kaldur speechless for at least half a second. "You did not seem yourself today, so I am here to check up on you. May I come in?"

"That's probably not the best idea." However, he made no movement to turn Kaldur away.

"That was not a no."

It was a mess, of course—when wasn't it?—yet two things in particular caught his brown eyes.

"You are intoxicated," he commented calmly.

"No, I was intoxicated at three o' clock," Roy corrected bitterly. "You've caught me at eight o' clock. Now, I am no longer _intoxicated_, I am _packing_."

Arms folded, leaning with his legs crossed at the ankle against the kitchen counter, Kaldur smiled, "Packing? What adventures beckon to you now, Roy?" Tried to keep a casual air to his tone.

He didn't see Roy's eyes narrow dangerously. "The _real_ Roy, that's who."

"I have already told you that we consider _you_ to be the real Roy. The original is exactly that – an _original._"

"Bullshit!" Roy snarled, knocking the bottle Kaldur had previously seen to the floor. "I see it in the way you all look at me – like I'm a traitor. Don't you think this kid would want his life back? I can tell you for fucking sure I'd want one of you to do the same if it was me!"

Kaldur sighed quietly and went to work sweeping up the shards, Roy not shifting even an _inch_ to help. When he finally stood, the two were face-to-face.

"It's not about being a clone, is it?"

Roy's breathing stuttered.

"_What?_ Of course it is!"

Emptying the pan into an old newspaper, Kaldur shook his head, glanced up. "Not all of your anguish is sourced from that one fact. The other part is concerned for the original Roy's safety, and the last part..." He paused as Roy's jaw jutted to the side, undoubtedly thinking that if Kaldur wasn't his best friend than the finned teen would be thrown straight out the window. "You are worried that they see you as something of _creation_, not a person. Or is it the way you were created-"

"Shut up! I am not some papier-mâché thing from a five-year-old's art class!"

"I thought I was just speaking your language." Kaldur touched Roy's shoulder. He shrugged it off. "Roy, you are my best friend. Do not think there is anything you cannot tell me."

Kaldur had only ever seen Roy cry _once_, and that was when he'd had a gun fired onto his ankle, shattering the bone. He wasn't going to break his record, though, and his eyes dried up just as quickly as they had begun to shine.

"Roy-"

"No, _screw this_." He grabbed some more things and shoved them into the duffle bag—the second thing Kaldur had spotted upon his entrance—shouting "Of all the things, _of all the__**fucking**__ things_ they could control, why did they make me like this?"

Leaving the broken glass, the blonde-haired male tried to close the good few metres of space between them. "Like what?"

"They could make me a _codeword_, for God's sake – they could turn me on and off like a human sex toy, make me want in on the Justice League, blame others for things I was doing...- Hell, they could make me forget I was even betraying them! And that one thing they can't get right, the _one_ fault-"

"_What_ fault?" Kaldur asked, the worry boiling up in the valves of his heart.

There was no way Kaldur could have felt it coming – no way to stop it. Teases had always surrounded the now-abandoned alias of "Speedy", relating it to premature ejaculation and such, but he proved the name in the fast-twitch muscles that made each move nearly unforeseeable to almost all humans. A hand latched onto the back of Kaldur's neck, forcing him forward into a-

-a kiss?

Roy was always true to his character and he kissed like he fought – responsively, daringly, aggressively. Years of confusion and want and terror were sewn up with frayed ends in the bites and the clambering and the pressure at the small of Kaldur's back.

And then Roy shoved him away, startling Kaldur even more than he had been already.

"_That_ fault," he answered in a low growl. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, turned away, distracted himself with his bag as to hide the blush tinting his cheeks. "I'm gay. It's cell clusters in the brain or something – I don't know and I don't care. I'm not sticking around anyway."

The realisation hit Kaldur like the bullet hit Roy's foot – hard and quick. He was right about it being a new sort of rage; hurt; _fear_. The frustration of being afraid of something as simple as rejection. The frustration of being _weak_.

And he remembered Roy being like this all the time. (Particularly on their first mission together, when he'd been trying to show off, didn't see the gleam of a revolver-)

"There are easier ways to come out than to kiss a person of the same gender," Kaldur said slowly. Roy's hands froze. "Do you love me, Roy?"

(Kaldur had seen it. He'd shouted out and Speedy had ignored it, releasing an arrow when he could have been jumping, running, _anything_.)

"Not _love_, Kaldur." At least, he didn't _think_ it was. "But yeah. That sorta thing. All the more reason to leave."

(At first Kaldur thought he'd been mistaken – that the bullet had gone through the boy's chest instead. The way he'd fallen...)

"I do not understand."

(...Then he'd sat up, clutching his shin in an attempt examine the wound. Kaldur took out the remaining opponents, ignoring congratulations from his mentor and Green Arrow. Swore secrecy when a red-eyed Speedy had gotten a new ankle made of metal and said "Let's keep this from Robin and Wally, eh?" And he wasn't talking about the injury.)

Rubbing his hands over the bristles along his jaw, regretting even bringing it up, Roy turned around. "I think you're hot. I have a big crush on you. There – that good enough? I had to try it before I left."

"And this is a bad thing?"

Roy's sight went downward and then found Kaldur's again. "Yes."

Kaldur cocked his head with a smile hinting at his full lips. "Why?" he asked.

"Because one – I'm a fag. Doesn't that disgust you?"

"Why would it?"

"Because two – you're not." Roy realised he'd dropped the cold tone in his voice and re-built the stoic wall. "What's with all the questions? You've checked up on me. Haven't you got better things to do with your time?" The younger teen shook his head and Roy mentally strangled himself for noticing how the light hit his cheekbones. "Goodbye, then. Just go."

Not even the sound of his breathing changed. Once again Roy had to pause, had to pretend that Kaldur wasn't bringing out _way too much emotion_ for him to stand. It was pure terror when they got like this, all pot and kettle and heavy sighs through their noses. Roy counted silently, not to calm himself but to see what level of rock-headedness Kaldur was currently in.

Fifteen.

So he faced him.

Faced the boy he'd been secretly pining after for years.

And Kaldur faced back.

"_Go_," Roy repeated.

Kaldur advanced, each move fluid and swift like the water he loved so much, each step making Roy's heart go a little faster. Too soon for the red-head to think, Kaldur was there,_right there_ with his breath on Roy's lips. Big, brown hands slid up pale-in-comparison arms and held them steady as he tilted his head. "No."

Somewhere, amongst all the fighting he'd done and the things he'd seen and the way he'd lived and the stories he'd heard, Kaldur had learnt how to be gentle. His taste was salty, like—duh—the ocean. Roy hadn't really gotten a chance to notice before. He could feel a fresh cut on the Atlantean's bottom lip that added a metal tang into the mix. It was going to scar.

His eyes closed fully, steel body relaxing. Kaldur was best when he was unrestrained, further proved as he pushed Roy against a wall. Not painfully hard, just a surprise since most of the fantasies he'd entertained involved it being the other way around. Apparently the thought wasn't enough to stop his lungs from working in pants between his teeth as Kaldur started to kiss tenderly around the tendons in his neck. Confidently, Roy's arms were coaxed up to rest on Kaldur's shoulders. Strong, graceful fingers smoothed down to his hips. Felt each bone and muscle on the way.

When the time came for a real intake of air, not just more attempts at swallowing oxygen around the obstructions of tongues and teeth and the other's mouth, Roy's brain could only focus on one thing – one question.

Had that really happened?

The warmth flooding his body told him yes; the heat of Kaldur's breath on his chin told him yes; Kaldur smiling, their foreheads still pressed together as they allowed a few moments for the burning to cool told him _fuck yeah it did_.

"How long?"

Kaldur's gaze flicked up. "How long what?"

"How long have you had the hots for me?"

He sighed. "Using that tone of speech tends to ruin romantic moments, Roy. You should be aware of that. And it was since you comforted me after Tula... and Garth..."

"...That's five months," stated Roy. "You fuckwit – why didn't you say something?"

Moving away—_trying_ to, almost impossible with the lock Roy's hands hand on his forearms—Kaldur rolled his eyes. "Most people do not call someone they just kissed a 'fuckwit'."

"Curses sound weird when they come from you." The archer swallowed. "I didn't know you played for the other team."

There was no expression imaginable that didn't look absolutely god-like when Kaldur wore it. Smirks were a rare occurrence, and therefore ones not to be shot down by rude comments. "Most from Atlantis fall for people, not genders."

"So, in American, you're pansexual."

"That would appear to be the case."

Roy inhaled and pressed on Kaldur's chest until he stepped away. "I have to find the real Roy Harper."

"Tracking him on foot would make no sense-"

"I've got inside information."

"You slept with Cheschire." It wasn't a question.

"And she was _terrible_."

"Good to know."

"Kaldur, I don't know if I can do what the League is doing. I need to find him, and that may not be possible inside the law." Roy gestured to the door. "Come with me. We could do this."

"My loyalties lie with my king second and with justice first. All I ask is that you at least let them _try_ before you set off on your own investigation."

Roy momentarily stopped his breathing, bit the inside of his cheek for a second. "Fine."

"For now, however-" he tossed the bag aside, "-we could resume our previous oral activity, or I could follow your orders and leave."

A grin spread over Roy's face, the first genuine one of its kind since New Year's.

"You're not going _anywhere_, fish-legs – we have to make up for lost time."


	2. Communication

"I was under the impression that you hated sea creatures."

"Unless I can eat 'em, you're the only exception."

Kaldur grinned it off, resisting the urge to start a conversation with the eel eyeing him in suspicion. Much as Roy would just _love_ that, this was their first date and he didn't want to resume the awkwardness they'd endured on the drive over. He'd been greeted by his recently-revealed crush with a single hard smack on the shoulder, as per usual, and then spent the next half hour listening to Roy repeat a mantra of "_Stupid, stupid, stupid_..." whenever he thought nobody could hear him.

"Why do we not look at the dolphins?" suggested Kaldur, interrupting Roy's staring contest. Smirking, he moved close enough for their arms to brush and murmured "You know, that one there is called a _kissing fish_."

The older man's eyebrows rose for a second before he turned his attention elsewhere.

"Those girls are staring at you," Roy hissed. "I can see their reflections in the glass."

Kaldur snuck a peek over his shoulder and chuckled quietly. "Watch out – fanclub approaching."

"I'm sorry, but you're Roy Harper, aren't you?"

The smile widened as the five teenage girls swarmed, blushing and giggling and asking a bystander to take photos. Roy didn't smile in any of them.

And as they all waved good-bye, Roy mentally relating their squealing to that of rogue piglets, a tour guide subtly moved them out of the way for her group. "Let's go." Kaldur briefly checked the map. "Why the _dolphins_? They're just like the rest of these scaly things only without eggshells."

"You asked me two months ago if it is true that they do not mind being in captivity. I thought you may want a translator."

"You're telling me that doesn't piss you off?"

"Being a messenger between man and oceanic animal?"

"No – the girls."

Kaldur blinked once up at Roy. "Why should it? I was going on the assumption that you only have eyes for me." He gestured to the open pool. "Here we are." Several ripples drew outward from his hand as it touched the water. Roy was shocked to see a heavier, thicker one shock the mostly-flat surface as Kaldur snapped his fingers under it.

"The fuck's _that_ supposed to do?"

"Watch."

Two things happened then – a shiny, blue-grey head emerged, and Roy was spat on by a dolphin.

Laughter burst from Kaldur's mouth, unable to hide it even under the deathly glare he was receiving. Possibly one that could rival even Batman's.

"I'm gonna kill that fuckin' fish – you tell it that," Roy snarled, wiping a hand across his face.

"Mammal," Kaldur corrected, "and _her_ name, in English, is Jay." He said something that sounded like an odd version of Latin, evoking more laughter from himself and the animal.

Roy crossed his arms. "_Jay_? You're bluffing."

"Do not be silly, Roy. You did not really think that humans are the only ones with nick-names? Underestimation could be considered a weakness by some." The gilled adolescent clicked his tongue and spoke in a casual tone, this time to Jay again.

"What are you saying?" Roy asked impatiently.

"Just introducing you, asking how she is. It's been a while since my last visit."

"Can't you tell _Jay_ you have to be somewhere, find out whether she likes it in here and leave?"

The response was a roll of Kaldur's eyes and a sigh that sounded like it had expelled all the air in the world from those perfect lips. Some sounds were exchanged before the Atlantean turned and answered "It depends on the individual animal."

Roy's eyelids slid halfway down. "Of course it does."

Kaldur's brow perked, a perfect arch that made Roy reconsider everything he'd ever known. Sometimes all it took were these _little things_ – the way water dribbled over his cheekbones when he emerged from the sea, or when the tiniest breath of a smile tainted his lips when they trained together, or even the tears that pricked his eyes as he laughed after Wally _so awkwardly_ asked his fellow red-head for condoms.

"Well, what about her? Does Jay like it?"

"She does. There were family issues before she was injured and taken in, and..."

But Kaldur wasn't always the most entertaining person to talk to, so Roy zoned out until he heard that—oh, crap, now it was becoming _familiar_—Latin being spoken once again, and _certainly_ didn't miss the not-subtle-enough gesture to the ladies from earlier. Roy crossed his arms, stayed silent as Kaldur waved good-bye to his friend. Jay waved back.

A light cough was apparently Roy's version of clearing his throat once they were in the car. "You know, that when you said, um, eyes for only you..." Kaldur bit his lip. "It's true. I don't care about Cheshire and those chicks and I would never, ever cheat on you. You know that, right? Everything about you is so perfect, and I would never screw it up over _anyone_-"

His words were halted, a smooth and gentle kiss telling him_ shut up_ and_ it's okay_.

"I believe you," he murmured.


	3. Mistake

**AN: Warning: This one's an M. Soz.**

.

A heavy groan drew out of Roy's throat as he flopped onto his back, one foot on the floor and the other slung over the top of his sofa.

"You are not even going to remove your boots? It would be shame to dirty the fabric. Oh, and where am I supposed to sit?"

"Take the other couch."

"Must I remind you there is only one?"

"_Exactly_."

"**Boots**."

The red-head mockingly reached out one hand, dropped it back with a huff. "Too bad. Hey, d'you mind getting me a shot of vodka?"

Kaldur hesitated; "Would that not put you to sleep?"

"Why, yes," deadpanned Roy, "that's kind of the idea. A post-patrol tradition of mine, if you hadn't noticed."

"Oh, fear not – I have. I just thought that it would follow _our_ recently-introduced post-patrol tradition?" Kaldur tried, and failed, to catch his eye. "Hello?"

"I'm too tired."

A breath passed through his lips, the bottom of which he began to chew for a few seconds. "If you act like this towards the concept of making out I can only imagine the excuses you will use when I am asking for sex."

That got his attention.

Roy swallowed.

"You want _sex_?"

Kaldur turned and looked at Roy him it had been fairly obvious all along.

"I am a teenage boy who is still a virgin despite having two long-term relationships, an extremely-willing girl show a blatant interest, and a boyfriend who runs around in _tights_. Why would I _not_ want to engage in intercourse?"

And there was Roy. Mouth slightly open. Kaldur hid his smugness away, approached and fit himself snugly between Roy's _very_-parted thighs.

"Not now, but we will."

"We _will_?" Roy repeated.

Kaldur, pleased he would be topping for the next half hour (at least), kissed heavily across Roy's neck (where he'd later cover up with a jacket); "At least _one_ of us must be an optimist in this relationship. It may as well be me."

There could have been a response muffled somewhere between their lips, but neither wanted to pause and clear it up. Aching arms held up the younger of the pair, but _slight pain_ was easily overcome by _heat_. There was some pretty lazy work on the now off-duty Red Arrow's part – he really _hadn't_ lied when he said he was tired. This bored Kaldur easily, and he tugged the black hem of his partner's shirt up quicker than he usually would have, patience dribbling out into kisses across his well-defined chest.

Roy, above all things, was especially proud of his muscles. Genetic material like his facial features, hair, or otherwise meant nothing to him and Kaldur respected his views enough not to pester them like so many of the well-meaning, in-the-know heroes made the mistake of doing. He'd _worked_ for those abs and biceps and quads. Particularly loved his upper body. Whilst this had slimmed down his costume choices to that of a sleeveless top—which was leaving a bit too much flesh vulnerable in his boyfriend's opinion—it _did_ mean that his lovers (past or present) were always easy to delight with something as simple as the removal of his shirt.

Like many women before him, Kaldur slid his hands down the narrowing lines from Roy's armpits to his hips – ghosted over the scars. Only this felt much, _much_ better than any girl could have done. Hell, it was like snippets of his life had turned into a good-quality, steady build-up porno (with, you know, lots more ass-kicking and a few domino-masks). Kaldur's hands were soft, not calloused and rough like Roy's. His nails were trimmed, too, and the red-head arched against the couch as one ran up his thigh.

Then there was a breeze on his waistline, fingers edging towards his crotch.

"You wear a cup, Red Arrow? I suppose I should have seen that coming." He tossed it to the ground. "Even though you take risks with every other part of your body, I take it the testicular region in particular is not to be reckoned with."

The band was snapped back and Roy did everything in his power not to whine or pout or demand it go there again. Seemed that none of the above were necessary, however, since the Atlantean's palm was soon grinding gently against his dick with a loose rhythm. Over his uniform, but the touch still managed to increase the intensity of his breathing. To say it'd been a while was an understatement. Roy shuddered.

Squeezing. Rubbing. All while Kaldur worked on his chest towards his nipple. Roy had never thought of doing something like that – he'd done it for the ladies, of course, but on a guy... No way, right? That couldn't possibly-

The heat wasn't enough to make him groan – neither was the saliva or the sucking. The three combined?

A whole new story.

"Kaldur, I-... I need to get this damned _jock_ off."

The blonde stood, pulling the raised leg onto the couch so that the other man could hurry the waistband down and take care of the guarding pads and various buckles while Kaldur untied the boot, slid the fabric right off. Brushed his wettened lips across the smooth skin on the side of his calf, now lined with small goosebumps. Roy shivered in anticipation. _Clawed_ at his own hair, erection _throbbing and dark and_ restrained. Each trail of fingertips at his stomach, his hips, just sent more twinges downward with no sign of release anytime soon. Every touch brought on a spark of something that would make crunch a moan on his tongue, followed by a painful aftertaste. He'd never been so hard in his _life_ and Kaldur was just... just...

Finally, he let out a little breath as his right foot was threaded through the elastic strap, placed in its original position with the bottom half of his clothing shucked down to his left ankle. Roy choked on a sigh of relief as Kaldur's hand pumped softly. His fingers dug into the cushion by his ear.

Kaldur smiled, pinning his lip between his top and bottom teeth. This was _Roy Harper_ propped up on his own elbows, adopted son of Oliver Queen, notorious teen-superhero playboy. And he, _Kaldur'ahm_, was the one making his eyes squeeze close, giving up on trying to watch aside from the occasional glances. He felt like he should say something.

"Roy Harper is a natural red-head. Huh. I have won a few bets."

Roy chuckled. "F-Funny – that's just what Jade said."

And the fleshy sounds of his cock being jerked off slowed, the grip beginning to-

"Kaldur, Jesus! That kinda hurts," he commented sharply.

"Sorry," he replied. "I _slipped_."

"My arse you sli-" However, it was just then that Kaldur thumbed the underside of his head, the most sensitive part. It didn't have the effect of completely dropping Roy's words from existence, but they _did_ morph into some sort of chest-deep groan.

Now each movement was accompanied by Kaldur's clenched jaw, but Roy was writhing and gasping and grinning in-between too much to notice. He'd never been this animated during a _handjob_ before. Intense oral, maybe, but most girls just didn't have the practise to get him off with manual alone...

"I'm gonna come, Kaldur-... I-I can't-"

"Duly noted."

Roy couldn't think about the coldness of the tone – not with the warmth fiercely rolling through his stomach, hips bucking up for the extra friction. He threw his head back, scrambled around for something to hold, found Kaldur's wrist and kept it still as he came.

The couch croaked as he dropped, shaking through it with his mouth open. A rush of pleasurable lightning.

Once all his hormones and adrenaline had levelled, Roy sank back to enjoy the post-orgasm floatiness. Not without a sleepy remark though, apparently; "Really? I gave you a warning, there are tissues on the floor... and now I've got a stain on my shirt. It's not like I can go down to the drycleaners, you know."

"Consider yourself lucky – most would receive a worse punishment for mentioning another in the midst of stimulation."

Confused, watching Kaldur stand and make his way towards the fridge, Roy pulled his top up and over, used it to wipe up the white stickiness (he'd find some way to remove it) and got to his feet to make himself decent again. "It was supposed to be _funny_, Kaldur." Even if he _had_ been in the wrong, Roy had never known when to back off. "You know, a _joke_?"

"I can joke, Roy, but not about this. As you have told me, I am reassured and confident in your feelings for me-" Somehow, without even moving, every aspect of his face and stance turned dark. "-but make no mistake, _I will not share you_. Quite a few have tried, _succeeded_ even, to take advantage of my understanding nature. Only those I truly care enough about have gotten away with it. Do not get me wrong – I care about you, but when you commit to me it is _only_ me. Friends are good, encouraged. Romantic interests, however, are not. I am not one of your highschool flings and I _certainly_ will not be treated as such."

Roy gulped. He kicked himself right in the mental groin – Kaldur's last relationship hadn't exactly ended on the best note—_"I love her. It will pass, I am sure, but for now..."_—so while this would have sounded rather _The Roommate_-ish coming from anyone else, it was totally agreeable. There was no way that one sentence had gone through the Jerk-Check in his throat before it came out of his mouth. Should have been more careful.

"I'm sorry," Roy said. They were alien on his tongue, a foreign language to his ears, and even Kaldur froze.

The younger shook his hand and smiled softly.

"It is alright. Like you said, a joke."

Kaldur kissed him, and it was soft and smooth and slow. Roy hadn't thought himself much of a _feminine_ gay but with the way his body ached to shiver under Kaldur's fingertips he could almost (secretly) believe it was a possibility. They dug deeply into his bare shoulder and Roy winced into his boyfriend's collarbone.

"But do not do it again."


End file.
